When I read about cases like yours, it sounds so different from teens like mine, where there sure seems like there was no history of dysphoria and then “rapid onset” happens.
Appreciate Claire’s willingness to put out her thoughts. So many questions! For instance, you say you felt a thrill being called ‘her’. Do you get occasionally misgendered (called sir) and, if so does it bother you? I’ve gotten that, embarrassingly (called sir or monsieur when, I’m not!) Kinda bothers. Sometimes I correct (‘Je ne suis pas un homme’). Mostly I don’t say anything. Told that to a woman in a gay bar (back in the 80’s) who said she felt like a gay man in a woman’s body. She (now he?) said “I wish that happened to me!” I attribute it to being a tall, big woman with a low voice (shrugs)? Can’t find clothes or shoes in ‘womens’ sizes so I try to find feminine looking (?) men’s shoes, teeshirts, etc) as much as possible.
Heck, going into music school I discovered I had a tenor range! So they put me in the middle of the choir, next to the men, so it wouldn’t be so obvious. Didn’t mind, tenor is a lovely range. Even found youtubes of famous tenor women.
So, Claire's story (“I was someone who, from the earliest memory, felt that their body was wrong, and however much I tried to correct myself, it was completely irreversible,”) seems to vindicate the trans activists and trans allies, including parents, who say to listen to the children because they know. There really is such a thing as a trans kid!
This presents a conceptual and strategic dilemma for sex realists. It means trans isn't just a social construct. There may be children who would actually benefit from social transition. Some of them might not even experience body dysphoria or suffer from comorbidities.
Sex realists will point to Claire and others like Claire to call for more stringent gatekeeping to separate the so-called "trans kids" who are actually future gays or lesbians or victims of virtue signaling parents trying to score points from the little boys and girls who are correct when they say they feel their body is wrong. Trans activists, on the other hand, will want to use Claire to finish bashing down the few gatekeeping functions that exist.
Then there's the quagmire the adolescent gender mess. How are we supposed to distinguish the Claires among the gender distressed from the trans trenders (you know they're out there) and the unfortunate teens who've gotten their wires very badly crossed?
I don't pretend to have answers except that giving in to the trans lobby would betray the majority of the gender questioning for whom transitioning would likely be a terrible and irreversible mistake.
I found this very disturbing. It seems to be more of the ‘true trans’ mythology with an unchallenged belief that he belongs somehow in women’s spaces because he is post-op. It’s just so misogynistic because women are just background noise, our objection not considered important enough to even register. What about the recent years where women have said a resounding no?
If you could find it within yourself to read Claire's book, you'll find that she is well aware of social norms surrounding spaces and sensitive to those norms and by no means out to upset the apple cart. I'd warrant that if you did not know her, she could walk into a women's restroom that you were using, discreetly take care of her business, and you would b none the wiser. In the article she clearly states her position on sports (transwomen should not be in women's sports) and on prisons. I can't remember her touching on women' shelters for abuse and rape, etc. but I'n sure she would be off the mind that those spaces should only be staffed by females.
Frankly if all people that had transitioned conducted that process and behaved afterwards like Claire, ie just lived their life being sensitive to societal norms, this whole thing about gende would be a non issue.
I reject the whole idea that there is something lacking “within” myself because I am pointing out the obvious - a man interviewing a man with complete complacency and lack of acknowledgment that him being in women’s spaces is an imposition. This is not about whether he passes or not - that can’t be a criteria for making spaces mixed sex. Here he is on changing rooms and prisons:
“I mean, I haven't been in a shared changing room for a very long time. But if I did, well, at least I wouldn't be embarrassed in that way.”
As for women’s prisons, Claire said, “There seems to be a number of people who suddenly decide they're transexual the moment they're sentenced to prison. It's just obvious that this is just a ploy that this is to get access to women's spaces.”
However, if someone has “gone through the proper process that’s taken several years” and had reassignment surgery, Claire said, she doesn’t see a problem with the individual being placed in a women’s prison, “especially for a white-collar crime or a driving offense or something.” She added, “I think it should be fairly obvious to the authorities which people should be allowed in women's prisons.””
This is the ‘true trans’ idea, that somehow making an effort makes a man eligible to enter women’s spaces. I am challenging that. It’s not a competition to see which man is more sympathetic, and I am not lacking if I challenge that.
I agree that there are a host of important reasons why women’s prisons need to be separate from men’s, and how men identify and/or what procedures they have undergone do not change this. I do think men have a far greater tendency than women to feel competent to weigh in when it is clear, as in this case, that they are not doing so from a position of actual expertise. For expert information on this issue, I recommend Keep Prisons Single Sex USA: https://usa.kpssinfo.org/
Thanks for a great and sane article. I am gender critical but what Claire says is known by me...but hard to say in the midst of all the shouting and nastiness. We're all human beings.
I must read her book. But what isn't talked about here is the sexual fetishism and agp aspect. I read Conundrum but felt there was a lot unsaid and I thinkJan Morris was rather more complex and perhaps less honest/ nice than s/he wanted people to see.
Thank you for sharing this story. I hope to read your book and hope you might read mine as well. (The Trans Train: A Parent's Perspective on Transgender Ideology and Medicalizaton). I appreciate this respectful discussion of complex issues.
Well written. Nice to see an article about an old school AGP that isn’t some creepy person wanting in. Lesbian dating app which seems to be so many of the AGP males these days.
I am not "AGP". To suggest this is to believe that a child of four can acquire a sexual paraphilia. Nonsense! Read my book to find out about the neurodevelopmental background to this.
Interesting read, but in the end Claire and the sympathetic transexual cohort falls short of what is needed to escape judgment unscathed. Instead of a meek assertIon that "I have deep reservations about these things" a solid "NO" is required.
Claire is so based! She’s a great example of how so many trans people are just trying to figure out what’s best for their lives and happiness. It’s the loudest, most upsetting people who get the most attention
A thoughtful and sensitive exchange between Claire and Ben. It left me with hope. Thanks for the article and sharing Clair's story.
Claire seems like a saint!
I'm very flattered that you might think so! LOL
When I read about cases like yours, it sounds so different from teens like mine, where there sure seems like there was no history of dysphoria and then “rapid onset” happens.
Grateful for Claire's integrity. Live not by lies.
Appreciate Claire’s willingness to put out her thoughts. So many questions! For instance, you say you felt a thrill being called ‘her’. Do you get occasionally misgendered (called sir) and, if so does it bother you? I’ve gotten that, embarrassingly (called sir or monsieur when, I’m not!) Kinda bothers. Sometimes I correct (‘Je ne suis pas un homme’). Mostly I don’t say anything. Told that to a woman in a gay bar (back in the 80’s) who said she felt like a gay man in a woman’s body. She (now he?) said “I wish that happened to me!” I attribute it to being a tall, big woman with a low voice (shrugs)? Can’t find clothes or shoes in ‘womens’ sizes so I try to find feminine looking (?) men’s shoes, teeshirts, etc) as much as possible.
Heck, going into music school I discovered I had a tenor range! So they put me in the middle of the choir, next to the men, so it wouldn’t be so obvious. Didn’t mind, tenor is a lovely range. Even found youtubes of famous tenor women.
Thanks again for your story!
So, Claire's story (“I was someone who, from the earliest memory, felt that their body was wrong, and however much I tried to correct myself, it was completely irreversible,”) seems to vindicate the trans activists and trans allies, including parents, who say to listen to the children because they know. There really is such a thing as a trans kid!
This presents a conceptual and strategic dilemma for sex realists. It means trans isn't just a social construct. There may be children who would actually benefit from social transition. Some of them might not even experience body dysphoria or suffer from comorbidities.
Sex realists will point to Claire and others like Claire to call for more stringent gatekeeping to separate the so-called "trans kids" who are actually future gays or lesbians or victims of virtue signaling parents trying to score points from the little boys and girls who are correct when they say they feel their body is wrong. Trans activists, on the other hand, will want to use Claire to finish bashing down the few gatekeeping functions that exist.
Then there's the quagmire the adolescent gender mess. How are we supposed to distinguish the Claires among the gender distressed from the trans trenders (you know they're out there) and the unfortunate teens who've gotten their wires very badly crossed?
I don't pretend to have answers except that giving in to the trans lobby would betray the majority of the gender questioning for whom transitioning would likely be a terrible and irreversible mistake.
I found this very disturbing. It seems to be more of the ‘true trans’ mythology with an unchallenged belief that he belongs somehow in women’s spaces because he is post-op. It’s just so misogynistic because women are just background noise, our objection not considered important enough to even register. What about the recent years where women have said a resounding no?
If you could find it within yourself to read Claire's book, you'll find that she is well aware of social norms surrounding spaces and sensitive to those norms and by no means out to upset the apple cart. I'd warrant that if you did not know her, she could walk into a women's restroom that you were using, discreetly take care of her business, and you would b none the wiser. In the article she clearly states her position on sports (transwomen should not be in women's sports) and on prisons. I can't remember her touching on women' shelters for abuse and rape, etc. but I'n sure she would be off the mind that those spaces should only be staffed by females.
Frankly if all people that had transitioned conducted that process and behaved afterwards like Claire, ie just lived their life being sensitive to societal norms, this whole thing about gende would be a non issue.
I reject the whole idea that there is something lacking “within” myself because I am pointing out the obvious - a man interviewing a man with complete complacency and lack of acknowledgment that him being in women’s spaces is an imposition. This is not about whether he passes or not - that can’t be a criteria for making spaces mixed sex. Here he is on changing rooms and prisons:
“I mean, I haven't been in a shared changing room for a very long time. But if I did, well, at least I wouldn't be embarrassed in that way.”
As for women’s prisons, Claire said, “There seems to be a number of people who suddenly decide they're transexual the moment they're sentenced to prison. It's just obvious that this is just a ploy that this is to get access to women's spaces.”
However, if someone has “gone through the proper process that’s taken several years” and had reassignment surgery, Claire said, she doesn’t see a problem with the individual being placed in a women’s prison, “especially for a white-collar crime or a driving offense or something.” She added, “I think it should be fairly obvious to the authorities which people should be allowed in women's prisons.””
This is the ‘true trans’ idea, that somehow making an effort makes a man eligible to enter women’s spaces. I am challenging that. It’s not a competition to see which man is more sympathetic, and I am not lacking if I challenge that.
I agree that there are a host of important reasons why women’s prisons need to be separate from men’s, and how men identify and/or what procedures they have undergone do not change this. I do think men have a far greater tendency than women to feel competent to weigh in when it is clear, as in this case, that they are not doing so from a position of actual expertise. For expert information on this issue, I recommend Keep Prisons Single Sex USA: https://usa.kpssinfo.org/
Thanks for a great and sane article. I am gender critical but what Claire says is known by me...but hard to say in the midst of all the shouting and nastiness. We're all human beings.
I must read her book. But what isn't talked about here is the sexual fetishism and agp aspect. I read Conundrum but felt there was a lot unsaid and I thinkJan Morris was rather more complex and perhaps less honest/ nice than s/he wanted people to see.
I send Claire love.
Thank you Claire for sharing your story. May you continue to have a good life.
War on gender?
Kinda like the vast majority of us standing against this whole gender bullshit fad?
Thank you for sharing this story. I hope to read your book and hope you might read mine as well. (The Trans Train: A Parent's Perspective on Transgender Ideology and Medicalizaton). I appreciate this respectful discussion of complex issues.
Well written. Nice to see an article about an old school AGP that isn’t some creepy person wanting in. Lesbian dating app which seems to be so many of the AGP males these days.
I am not "AGP". To suggest this is to believe that a child of four can acquire a sexual paraphilia. Nonsense! Read my book to find out about the neurodevelopmental background to this.
It has nothing to do with AGP.
Interesting read, but in the end Claire and the sympathetic transexual cohort falls short of what is needed to escape judgment unscathed. Instead of a meek assertIon that "I have deep reservations about these things" a solid "NO" is required.
Claire is so based! She’s a great example of how so many trans people are just trying to figure out what’s best for their lives and happiness. It’s the loudest, most upsetting people who get the most attention