Tears. I am speechless. This is so beautiful out of such horror. If only the girl with the crickets could read this and find you. This is how I feel for my daughter who has been so cruel. I have told her this once but want to say it again. Thank you for reminding me that in my quest to tear down this ideology, it all boils down to us loving the kids. Thank you, Jamie.
And that is the thing. These kids are being told their parents and those like you don't understand, don't 'get it', when in fact we do only too well, and it's only our experiences that allows us to see what they can't, and see it clearly for what it is.
I have mixed feelings about this essay. On one hand, I am moved by the author's compassion for the young woman and empathize with her own story. On the other, I don't think it's right or healthy to put all the blame on men ("Adult men have led her to believe that I am the enemy."). Women are just as guilty in promoting trans ideology, in confusing these young people. We shouldn't throw men under the bus. All adults are responsible. We need to fix it together - men and women.
There is context you’re missing. A group of maligned men coordinated this attack and used these confused young women as a shield. Holding those predatory men accountable is very much warranted.
In the early 1990s in the UK I was asked to support a young man who had been sexually abused. The lad was only 19 and was living with a girl who was also very vulnerable. His story was a painful one. He had had a sex change operation from female to male when he was 16 because he'd been repeatedly sexually abused and raped by his father and 4 brothers, and he said that he thought that if he changed sex from female to male that he would become a new person and the abuse would stop. But he said he was still in terrible mental pain and 'couldn't understand why the memories hadn't gone away'. He had assumed that if he rid himself of his female body, the memories associated with that body would disappear too. I asked if anyone at the hospital or the psychiatric team had ever asked why he wanted the sex change. He said no they hadn't. Not a single person had asked why he wanted it. Now he was really upset and said he wished someone had told him that the memories wouldn't go away, because that's what he'd really wanted. He'd wanted to be safe from abuse and free of the pain and memories. (Because I know anything anyone says on this subject can be taken the wrong way and the speaker vilified, I'd just like to clarify that I am in no way suggesting that all sex change decisions are made because of past abuse or trying to avoid pain, however I wanted to share this true experience in the light of this post.) Young people need supportive love and counselling to identify what internal misery is causing them to be unhappy with themselves and help should be given to resolve those issues. They will then be in a better place to decide whether they want to go ahead with any irreversible procedures.
Standing with you and all women who have ever screamed NO and HELP and were dismissed, ignored, or disbelieved. So many of us "know" the reality of men's sexual/violence and will continue to scream, in union, the TRUTH of this painful (w)reckoning until the whole world finally hears us. Thank you for this piece and your voice.
Thanks, Jamie—chills for me as I read this and thought about my beautiful 19-year old who for reasons untold to me says she doesn’t want to be a woman.
Thank you for sharing this harrowing experience. I hope the young woman in the elevator will come to know, someday, somehow, the depth of your concern. Beautiful writing, Jamie. Thank you for your good work.
Tears. I am speechless. This is so beautiful out of such horror. If only the girl with the crickets could read this and find you. This is how I feel for my daughter who has been so cruel. I have told her this once but want to say it again. Thank you for reminding me that in my quest to tear down this ideology, it all boils down to us loving the kids. Thank you, Jamie.
And that is the thing. These kids are being told their parents and those like you don't understand, don't 'get it', when in fact we do only too well, and it's only our experiences that allows us to see what they can't, and see it clearly for what it is.
I have mixed feelings about this essay. On one hand, I am moved by the author's compassion for the young woman and empathize with her own story. On the other, I don't think it's right or healthy to put all the blame on men ("Adult men have led her to believe that I am the enemy."). Women are just as guilty in promoting trans ideology, in confusing these young people. We shouldn't throw men under the bus. All adults are responsible. We need to fix it together - men and women.
There is context you’re missing. A group of maligned men coordinated this attack and used these confused young women as a shield. Holding those predatory men accountable is very much warranted.
Oh, I didn’t know. Can you tell me more please?
Wow.
I'm glad to be here to read this. I didn't know
This is a whopper of an article. You're a great writer and a powerful example of the meaning of courage.
The name of this Substack is well chosen.
Beautiful
Very short and extra powerful for it !
Very powerful, thank you
In the early 1990s in the UK I was asked to support a young man who had been sexually abused. The lad was only 19 and was living with a girl who was also very vulnerable. His story was a painful one. He had had a sex change operation from female to male when he was 16 because he'd been repeatedly sexually abused and raped by his father and 4 brothers, and he said that he thought that if he changed sex from female to male that he would become a new person and the abuse would stop. But he said he was still in terrible mental pain and 'couldn't understand why the memories hadn't gone away'. He had assumed that if he rid himself of his female body, the memories associated with that body would disappear too. I asked if anyone at the hospital or the psychiatric team had ever asked why he wanted the sex change. He said no they hadn't. Not a single person had asked why he wanted it. Now he was really upset and said he wished someone had told him that the memories wouldn't go away, because that's what he'd really wanted. He'd wanted to be safe from abuse and free of the pain and memories. (Because I know anything anyone says on this subject can be taken the wrong way and the speaker vilified, I'd just like to clarify that I am in no way suggesting that all sex change decisions are made because of past abuse or trying to avoid pain, however I wanted to share this true experience in the light of this post.) Young people need supportive love and counselling to identify what internal misery is causing them to be unhappy with themselves and help should be given to resolve those issues. They will then be in a better place to decide whether they want to go ahead with any irreversible procedures.
Standing with you and all women who have ever screamed NO and HELP and were dismissed, ignored, or disbelieved. So many of us "know" the reality of men's sexual/violence and will continue to scream, in union, the TRUTH of this painful (w)reckoning until the whole world finally hears us. Thank you for this piece and your voice.
I’m so moved by this. Thank you ❤️
Thanks, Jamie—chills for me as I read this and thought about my beautiful 19-year old who for reasons untold to me says she doesn’t want to be a woman.
Beautiful writing about dark subjects. Thank you for fighting for this young girl and all the others.
Incredible and powerful. I appreciate you sharing this essay. I hope it circulates to the ones who need to read and understand most.
Thank you for sharing this harrowing experience. I hope the young woman in the elevator will come to know, someday, somehow, the depth of your concern. Beautiful writing, Jamie. Thank you for your good work.
utterly beautiful
Fine writing. Time to write a book, Jamie Reed.