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This gender dysphoria started when my kid was in fifth grade, 2 years ago. She did come home from school after her teacher gave the kids a pronoun lecture. I don’t believe there were any transgender children in the class. But you can bet on the fact that there were some parents who were giving their children a lot of language and concepts at home. Thus, the community was primed for it.

Me, I raised my daughter as a nonconformist. She is very close with her older brother. And prior to the pronoun talk (and the trans YouTubers) she was starting to figure her place in the pecking order of her class. We are gender nonconforming, but in hindsight, I now know that we really need to teach our values at home. We need to use language skillfully.

I am an early childhood teacher. I am a trained Montessori teacher. I studied critical theory, literature, and the Russian language (for 8 years). I had to catch up because my reading of critical theory in 1995 ended with feminist theory. In 2023, I was updating my knowledge with the theory of gender performativity—a theory. (Let’s pause for a chuckle.)

My kid left Montessori charter school after 5th. Sixth grade last year, despite my attempts to head off the issues, I watched the things happen that I was predicting. My daughter gravitated to the lgbtq group, spoke about girls with boy names and pronouns (this really

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appalls me. What an abuse of language. In the end of the year, my daughter lies in order to attend GSA club after school. Staff were playing games based on contradictory policies. I felt shunned and gaslit, and therefore I have lived with a high degree of anxiety.

BTW I turned fifty in July. I spent 3 weeks caring for my mother last year. She had a radical double mastectomy which completely eradicated cancer. And I am entering menopause. These are conditions that only women can experience, with very few exceptions. And I am a feminist.

I played the long game with my daughter’s school. I could not organize other people. I worked with the school staff. I spoke directly with key staff to tell them my concerns. I have written many emails, mostly to politicians. I started working with the one school board member who I knew would be sympathetic. And let me tell you, I never would have seen this a year ago. I have started joking conservative women’s groups and speaking with legal policy centres in my state. We need legal power. This is certain.

I have won a small victory—this week. I got the school into compliance with parental rights. The GSA club was being sneaky and secretive. They played games with my child. Before school started, I learned from my daughter that most kids’ parents had signed permission slips to let their kids attend GSA. Since I said no, instead of permission slip, my kid lied and said “I don’t feel safe.” She was allowed to attend by manipulating the truth.

Now I am doing what a parent does. My daughter is mad at me. (My husband is mad at me too.) But now the school will be listing Genders and Sexuality Alliance, and I am grilling admin to make sure students don’t attend without permission slips. There may come a battle over privacy. They will find legal work arounds. You know how Putin changes laws to suit him? Don’t think we are different. We are decentralized.

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*joking should be joining above.

I’m also working as a sub in the district. I can tell you what I have seen in many of the schools. Specific schools hire trans people. This is activist led. The activists want to be good guys.

I work in one of those schools now. Mostly, it’s female to male transmasc staff. They are often counselors and monitors or aides. Yesterday the new aide came to my classroom to announce themself to me. I said, “so what do you like to be called?” They had said Oscar, and now they were telling me Mr. So-and-so. Their face has the customary display of piercings. It’s an affront to our sensibilities that they seek to normalize. This person stood, reading my response to them. In my view, they’re coming for our children.

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I was on a London train in 1995 when a somewhat inebriated Brit in a business suit with a newspaper in his hand, rolled the paper up and threw it to the floor yelling “England will regret its colonialism!” Wonder where he is today!

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